That dream came true. She told me online as I was on the phone and I came back to read the lines after she was gone. The strangest thing was that it happened a month after I dreamed it. That dream was July and it was January when she told me. Why did she tell me then? Maybe because she couldn’t hide it any longer, and was worried other people would tell me first because she found out in November.
Another lover who had moved on to a different stage in their life while I was still in the same, alone. She wasn’t going to get married, but was going to keep living at home with her mother while she continued with school. I couldn’t picture her so young with that belly. Hell she had just turned 22, and the thought of those breasts I had one cupped in my hands asleep at night now swollen in preparation. I wondered why that dream had disturbed me so and stuck with me for weeks afterwards, and now? It all came back again that inescapable feeling, though I wasn’t really a part of it. Maybe that’s what bothered me. I never got over her I guess, but I never was good at letting go, of anything. Childhood still bothered me, and maybe I was just too sensitive for this life. Who knows? Time will tell after I’m gone, though who will be listening?
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